Clay

I'm casting my vote against the future
There is an end to the pain
I choose to not pass on this disease called human life
I will live with loneliness another way

I don't need yet another possession
To make me feel whole
Don't need the career-enhancing family image
(Most of them are child molesters, you know)

There are no guarantees
Yet some are surprised
By a disabled child,
"I'm better off, somehow
Now I know who my friends are
But late at night I cry
Because I can't protect the sweet, innocent
helpless life I brought into this world
God, I thought it would never happen to me"

My genes and my personal suffering die with me
No little excuses to be insensitive toward others
No aspirations to consume, consume, consume
No memories to pull me out of the grave

My child won't open fire in a playground
Hooked by alcohol, nicotine, or caffeine
Suffering from low self-esteem
Beaten up by bullies in the playground
Torn to pieces in a car wreck
Walking the cold streets as "that homeless man"
Or worse,
Promoting a lifestyle of unsatisfying materialism
Eating and wearing animals effortlessly
Carrying on the dead-end legacy of the American Dream

I know it breaks your heart
You won't see your grandson
Running to the Christmas tree
Another repository of carefully selected family lore
Another chance to get it right
Another human to love on the surface
And disapprove of accordingly in case .. in case .. he's gay

You will never live to enjoy the day
When I suffer what you endured
Your lump of clay has a mind of its own
And it refuses to play the game